She announced her abortion via fbk
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
