And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
