is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
