Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
