Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize