Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
