she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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