No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Randomize
