She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
