dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
These tits shall not be calmed
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