Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
40s are totally the cure
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
