hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
