You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize