i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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