You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize