Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
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