make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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