I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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