i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
