Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
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