What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
