he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
We have so much sex to catch up on
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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