Don't make out with my wife yet
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
No subtext here. People are naked.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
