Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
