Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
