Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
