he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
