Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
