SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize