Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
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