Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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