the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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