There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
