Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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