then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
All the doctor said was why
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
