i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
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You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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