So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
