I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
