At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize