i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
