we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
