I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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