my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
