FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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