Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
