I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
