Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize