she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I'm passing your future prison.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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