talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Holy shit dude........stairs
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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