I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
