He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
