All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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