Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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