There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
