My cat gives me a boner
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
