I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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