HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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