dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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