There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
