so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
whose ass print is on the piano?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
